elementalv: Screenshot from Sherlock of "You know where to find me. SH." (Default)
[personal profile] elementalv
Title: Getting A Word In Edgewise
Author: elementalv
Characters: Dean & Castiel and a few others
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Nothing specific, though it assumes knowledge of season 5 to date.
Notes: Gen, roughly 2,900 words or so.
Summary: They stumble across God at 4:16 on a Friday afternoon in a park that sits along the edge of Lake St. Clair.


They stumble across God at 4:16 on a Friday afternoon in a park that sits along the edge of Lake St. Clair. Dean and Cas are there because they heard what Cas called a “prophetic statement” from one of the homeless guys at a soup kitchen down on Cass Avenue, and the name of the street alone is enough to make Dean willing to go along with it. Sam is still on a redemption kick, though, which means he’s not in the mood to meet God just yet. He decides to help hand out food, and Dean thinks it isn’t a coincidence that Sam made his decision just as soon as he caught sight of Kara Grzbowski, a very pretty grad student from Wayne State University.

Whatever. Dean’s okay with anyone who gets Sam out of his funk of the day, and Kara seems like a nice kid. So him and Cas take off for the lake, and when they park, it takes a good half hour to get out of the lot, because his baby is back to the closest thing she has to a home, and three of her godfathers swarm around to tell Dean there’s a good chance at least one of them had a hand in getting her off the assembly line back in the day. With talk like that, there’s not a chance in hell Dean isn’t opening up her hood so they can reassure themselves that she’s in good hands.

It’s pretty cool, talking to them, hearing what it was like to work on the line, and Dean could happily sit there for the rest of the day soaking it all up. Cas, on the other hand, couldn’t. He doesn’t exactly fidget, but Dean can tell he’s getting a little tense, so he tells the guys — Bert, Stan and Jackie — that him and Cas have an appointment. They look kind of disappointed, so Dean tells them to have fun and close the hood if they leave before he returns.

It’s one of those rare solutions that makes everyone happy, and Cas practically skips to the path (and yeah, okay, not really skipping, but for Cas, anything more than the measured steps he usually takes is something to take note of). The day is on the chilly side, but it’s not bad with the sun out and the sky a clear, pale blue. Dean is enjoying the walk, because for once, they aren’t running to or from something, so it’s kind of a surprise when Cas goes belly flat on the ground in front of an older woman — she’s kind of dumpy looking — without even warning Dean that something’s up.

“Father,” Cas gasps, and Jesus, he sounds like he’s almost in tears. “I have rebelled.”

The lady, maybe in her fifties with wispy brown and gray hair, looks up from her knitting and frowns at Cas.

“What are you talking about?”

Dean is about to intervene, explain that his friend just went on a new course of medication and they’ll be going now, but before he can, Cas says, “I have rebelled. I have hidden the vessels from the Host, and the Host means to kill me.”

The woman looks at him for a long moment then sighs. “Again?”

Cas answers in a small voice, “Yes, Father.”


Dean blinks and says, “Wait. What?”

She ignores him and says, “I think, Castiel, that you need to reconsider your definition of rebellion.”

“No, really,” Dean says. “What the fuck?”

She looks at Dean finally, and for the first time ever in his life, Dean feels absolutely naked. There’s not a damn thing he’s done that this lady — God? God’s a woman? — doesn’t know every single little detail about, and it freaks him out. He wants to cover himself, but hell, he’s already wearing three or four layers of clothing topped off by a jacket. If that doesn’t cover him, what will? But he puts both hands in front of his crotch anyway and maybe gets why Cas is face down on the ground.

“Yes, I suppose you do at that,” She says to Dean, and man, he hates it when people answer shit he’s thinking instead of what he actually says out loud. She gives him a stern look and says, “Deal with it, because before we get into your issues, we need to settle Castiel’s heart and mind.” She leans over and touches Cas on the back of his head. “Stand before your Father, child.”

Cas does, but it’s hard for him. It’s like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders, and after a moment, Dean thinks that sounds about right. Aside from Anna, Cas is the only angel to give more than half a shit about humanity, so yeah. “Weight of the world” works, and because standing in front of God with all that responsibility and worry riding him hard can’t be too easy, it takes Dean all of half a second to step forward and take his place next to Cas. No way is he letting Cas take all the heat, not when Dean himself has the lion’s share of responsibility for starting the apocalypse. Also? No way is he taking his hands away from his crotch.

God, for Her part looks amused and says, “So you’ll stand by Castiel, Dean Winchester?”

“Yeah,” he says. There’s more he wants to say, words and snark bubbling up on his tongue, but hard as he tries, he can’t let any of it out. On the one hand, it sucks, not being able to come out with a patented Dean Winchester smartass remark. On the other hand, it’s probably just as well he can’t make his voice work to mouth off to God.

“What do you think about that, Castiel?”

Cas is surprised by the question, doesn’t quite get what God means, because he asks, “Father?”

“A human stands ready to defend you, an angel, against My wrath,” She says as she starts knitting again. “It’s not exactly your run-of-the-mill event, is it?”

“No,” Cas says, and right there, Dean is convinced that Cas has a lot more to say than just “no.” In fact, Dean’s certain that Cas has an entire gospel to say on the subject, but for some reason, God doesn’t want to hear it spoken out loud.

“Hm.” She frowns at the — whatever it is she’s making — and unravels a couple of rows. “Do you recall what My command was when I created Dean’s earliest ancestors?”

“You told us to love them.”

“Do you?” Cas glances at Dean then looks straight ahead again, and She says, “I’m not talking about just Dean.”

Cas freaking blushes at that and stammers out, “Yes.”

Still without looking up, she says, “Then I don’t quite understand what you mean by rebellion.”

“Zacariah —”

“—Is in danger of getting his wings clipped if he doesn’t stop acting like a jackass.” She smiles down at the sweater — and it is a sweater now when just a minute or two before, it was a few rows of stitches — then holds it up against Dean’s chest. “Take this. You’ll need it.”

“Ma’am?” Cas kicks him, and Dean corrects himself, squeaking out, “Father?”

“I know you aren’t happy about the possibility of being Michael’s vessel,” She says, and the amount of love and understanding in Her voice and eyes is almost enough to take Dean to his knees. “But it may not be avoidable.”

“Sam —”

She sighs. “Do you trust Me?”

“No.” Cas elbows him, and Dean says, “What? I’m gonna lie?”

She says, “Stop fussing, Castiel. He gave an honest answer.” She pats the bench and says, “Sit.”

Dean really doesn’t want to, but he’s pretty sure She cheated, because a blink later, he’s sitting next to her, holding a skein of yarn while she winds it into a ball. Cas is still standing there, looking really freaked out, then the next moment, he’s sitting on the other side of her and also holding a skein of yarn she’s winding into a second ball at the same time. Dean tries not to look too closely at her hands and lap, because his eyes are starting to hurt just trying to figure out how the hell that’s possible when she still only has two hands.

“You and Sam argue quite a bit, don’t you?” She asks.

“Well. Yeah. Brothers, you know?”

“I do know. I also know that you and Sam inevitably make peace with one another, isn’t that right?”

Dean bites his lip. “Yeah, but —”

“Granted, it isn’t exactly the healthiest sibling relationship I’ve seen, but the pair of you are starting to get over your codependency issues, so I have hope.”

“Now wait just a —”

“The point is that you’re doing well with each other.” The balls of yarn are tucked at Her side now — and Dean is just now trying to figure out why he’s completely bought into the idea of Her being God when he’s usually a lot more cynical than this — and She’s started knitting again. “I’m even willing to go so far as to call your relationship a role model.”

Castiel jerks a little at that, and he gives Dean a wide-eyed look behind Her back. “Um. Okay. But —”

“I truly think other brothers would do well to be guided by your experience and hard-earned wisdom. Especially brothers who’ve been angry with one another for a while.”

Dean sits there and doesn’t say anything. It’s not like She’s going to let him get a word in edgewise, and anyway, She already knows what he’s thinking. Also, he thinks he knows where She’s going with this, and he’s not exactly happy about it. Let Michael and Lucifer figure it out on their own damn dime and just leave him and Sammy out of it. He hates this, hates feeling trapped into saying yes when all he wants to do is say no, no, NO.

“The choice and consent are always yours, Dean, no matter what pressure may be brought to bear. And you’ve already seen that it can be considerable,” She says, looking him straight in the eye. “And here’s a bit more to add to what you’ve already suffered: if you say no, My children will do battle using imperfect vessels and perhaps destroy the world.”

“They’ll do that anyway if we say yes,” he says, frustrated that he seems to be the only one who gets it.

“Not exactly. You and Sam were created specifically to hold Michael and Lucifer, to contain and channel their power at manageable levels. If the pair of you say yes, then the world won’t actually collapse under the weight of their struggle.” She finishes another sweater and nudges Castiel. “Do you think it’s large enough?”

Castiel, who looks like he could use a bottle or two of hard liquor right about now, mutters, “Yes, Father.”

She hands the sweater to Dean and says, “This one’s for Sam. He’ll need to wear it at the same time you put yours on.”

Dean blurts out, “When?”

“You’ll know when the time comes,” She says. And then She’s knitting again, because apparently, keeping up with the local chapter of Stitch ‘N Bitch is more important than, say, stopping the Apocalypse.

“Don’t be snide, Dean.” She slaps him on the back of the head and then holds the yarn up next to Castiel’s face. “Yes. I think this color will do nicely for you.”

“Um. Ma’am?” He can’t bring himself to call Her “Father.” He had a father, and his father, more often than not, had five o’clock shadow if not a full beard. God has maybe a few stray beard hairs, which always looks weird on a woman, but She also has a pretty impressive set of boobs, which Dad, even at his heaviest, could never match.

“You have a very disturbing train of thought at times,” She says, looking at Dean like he’s some kind of weird puzzle. “Speak your mind and don’t worry about what to call Me.”

“I can’t say yes, because there’s not a chance I can — can —” Dean swallows and continues, “I can’t even say it.”

She looks at Dean for a moment then says, “Castiel, when Jimmy was still alive and with you, did he ever have the slightest control of his body?”

“No. Never,” Cas says. He doesn’t sound quite as wrecked as he did before, and Dean is even willing to say he looks like he might be considering cheerful as a possible emotion to explore at some point in the future.

“My point, Dean, is that it won’t be you and Sam doing battle. It will be Michael and Lucifer.”

“Yeah, using our bodies.”

“Using your bodies and, I hope, working out their differences.” The way She says it makes it sound like all She’s talking about is Michael and Lucifer borrowing a set of tools to work on the car again, and that’s just ass. Still. Not like he can say that to Her, so he calms himself down and thinks about the end game.

“And once they ‘work out their differences,’ Michael can lock that son of a bitch up again, right?” Dean tries very hard not to think about the fact that he just called God a bitch and hopes She’ll let it pass.

“Maybe.” And damn, if She doesn’t look and sound a little shifty at that.

Dean stares at Her. “What do You mean, maybe? It’s Lucifer we’re talking about.”

“Yes, Lucifer — my Morning Star and still beloved.”

“But he —”

Dean thinks about everyone who’s died since Lucifer rose and the way they’ve died. He thinks about Bobby, trapped in a wheelchair and getting more and more bitter every day. He thinks about Jo and Ellen, who disappeared months ago, only to show up on the evening news last week, when their remains were identified from a mass grave. He thinks about all of the hunters and other good people who’ve been thoroughly screwed over by the Apocalypse, and he can’t quite figure how God wouldn’t lock the bastard up tight again.

“I know what he’s done, and I know he’s done quite a bit more that you’ll never hear about. Even so, it’s still possible he’ll be forgiven,” She says.

“How?” he asks, putting as much frustration as possible into that one word, because it’s clear she’s not getting it, especially the part where him and Sam are broken little meatsuits at the end of it all.

“All he has to do is ask forgiveness. That’s all anyone has to do,” She says quietly, and then She sighs. “Do you honestly believe that injury or death will befall you and Sam if you don’t wish it?”

“I — um.” It’s a good question, so She has a point. Sort of — in the way that She has a point if Dean believes She isn’t about to dick him over.

“I’m not, but I can see where you’d be skeptical.” She hands a finished sweater over to Castiel then packs up the rest of Her knitting and stands up. “You don’t have to make your decision today, but you’ll have to make it soon. Castiel knows how to get in touch with Me now. Let him know when you’re ready to commit to one course of action or the other.”

She walks off, leaving Dean to stare at nothing much in particular. For the first time since this thing started, he doesn’t feel completely hopeless and terrified of what’s to come. And yeah, maybe She’s lying, but he doesn’t really think so, and it’s not because She thinks Zachariah’s a jackass. Well. Not completely. Against his better judgment, he’s starting to trust Her, maybe even have a little faith that him and Sammy will make it out of this in one piece.

He looks over at Cas, who has a kind of stunned look, and Dean thinks about a blush he never expected to see on Cas’ face, and it turns out that gives Dean some hope, too. It’s a “huh” kind of moment, and one he would like to have enjoyed for a little while, but just then, he catches sight of Stan trying to jog up. Dean has his phone halfway out of the pocket, because Stan looks like he’s been hitting the pierogies pretty hard for the last few years and probably shouldn’t be moving faster than a slow walk. It hits him then, that maybe Stan is hauling ass for a reason, and Dean starts running to meet him halfway.

“My baby —?”

“Eh, she’s okay,” Stan puffs out. “But me and the boys, we’re getting ready to head over to Old St. Mary’s. They got a fish fry going on tonight, and we thought maybe you and your friend could come along. There’s an awful lot of guys who’d love to get a look your sweetheart, you know?”

Cas looks like he’s about to veto dinner, but Dean thinks, Screw that, and says, “We’d love to, right, Cas?”

“Dean, we have —”

“Dinner waiting for us along with a bunch of good people to meet.” A bunch of car people, really, which equals all kinds of good in Dean’s book, and they’re the perfect way to end the day. Cas rolls his eyes, and Dean enjoys both the victory and the chance to not have to think about the Apocalypse for a while.
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(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-21 01:08 pm (UTC)
alexseanchai: Blue and purple lightning (Default)
From: [personal profile] alexseanchai
Love this.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-21 01:48 pm (UTC)
archon: green lady with apple (Default)
From: [personal profile] archon
I enjoyed this tremendously! Especially love the way you've written God - I hope something like this happens on the show.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-21 02:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xphoenixrising.livejournal.com
Beautiful and lovely and just so, so wonderful. I am SO glad you shared this!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-21 02:27 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I really liked the story and how you portraited God. She's very smart if she stopped Dean from talking back in his usual style. Good move, probably XD


(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-21 02:28 pm (UTC)
ext_329580: (pic#298849)
From: [identity profile] aescu.livejournal.com
Wow... God is... a very strong character. I'd love to see him/her pictured like that on the show. I like how he/she practically whipes the floor with Dean (and Cas) - in a good way. How everything seems happening en passant, like he/she is chatting about the weather.
And I would really like to know what the sweaters are for - and how they look ;)

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] aesculap - Date: 2009-10-21 07:45 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-21 02:29 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Dear, Lord, may it come to pass just like this. :-) Loved it.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-21 02:53 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I do like your take on God, and on Michael and Lucifer. Make everybody involved in this whole Apocalypse drama a little more "human" (for lack of a better adjective), a little less mythological, and it becomes so, so much more interesting.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-21 03:39 pm (UTC)
mpsanguis: (Default)
From: [personal profile] mpsanguis
Absolutely amazing. I love how manage that thin line between comedy and bitterness. My favorite part is your subtle characterization of those three. I really, really hope we get to something like this on the show.

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] mpsanguis - Date: 2009-10-22 12:31 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-21 04:36 pm (UTC)
shirozora: (Supernatural - Castiel in the morning)
From: [personal profile] shirozora
I really love this. God's pretty awesome, and that's besides calling Zachariah a jackass.

getting a word in ...

Date: 2009-10-21 05:04 pm (UTC)
laceymcbain: (Lacey poppies)
From: [personal profile] laceymcbain
I really love this version of God, and how Castiel keeps trying to get Dean to behave, but it doesn't really work, nor does God expect him to. Great stuff.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-21 05:23 pm (UTC)
kitty_poker: (NF-Umbrella K)
From: [personal profile] kitty_poker
Loved this. The concept of God being a mild, middle-aged lady with knitting needles works brilliantly, as does the subtext of Dean and Cas having more than platonic feelings.

ā€œIā€™m even willing to go so far as to call your relationship a role model.ā€

Works for me. Brothers can fight and bitch and hate one another, but underneath is always that fraternal connection.

I'm a bit puzzled by the mention of a baby. Perhaps I haven't been paying enough attention.

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] kitty_poker - Date: 2009-10-21 09:25 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-21 06:23 pm (UTC)
instantramen: girl with pigtails and a straight face (um see)
From: [personal profile] instantramen
So let me get this straight: Sam and Dean have to wear Holy Sweaters to let Lucifer and Michael hug it out, and Castiel gets a sweater too because God loves Her confused little lightning bug? Awesome. I also love the car guys, especially their invitation to a fish fry at the end. The food of God--when you're not eating Jesus, anyway.

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] instantramen - Date: 2009-10-21 09:51 pm (UTC) - Expand

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Date: 2009-10-21 07:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quovadimus83.livejournal.com
yay :D

God as a knitting chick is kinda cool. I like how you brought the apocalypse down to a base issue: sibling rivalry. but what's w/ the sweaters? are they supposed to be like armor? ... are you writing more of this story? eh? ::hinthint::

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-21 07:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kira-bouviea.livejournal.com
This was fantastic. really, I loved it to bits!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-21 07:59 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I lived in St. Clair Shores when I was younger, so I was like 'oh, Lake St. Clair!' God, I miss Michigan...

Anyway, totally loved this. Haha, sweaters...

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-21 11:47 pm (UTC)
scoodoo38: Kon and Tim (Kon and Tim)
From: [personal profile] scoodoo38
A bunch of car people, really, which equals all kinds of good in Dean's book,

Lol, poor Cas. He's gonna be like one of those spouses who sits at the table staring into space while the other talks.

God being someone who is more an actual parent than a leader is a really good characterization. Being the person who realizes that they can't take sides if they want the fight to be permanently resolved.

Although, now that I'm imagining everyone fighting in matching granny sweaters, it's pretty funny. The sweaters are probably physical metaphors for something that you hinted at, but I've got a headache and am to lazy to think about it more.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-22 01:18 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Awww, I loved this. God is like the ultimate Mother Superior: She may be infinitely patient, but she also wastes no time setting Dean straight :)

And that moment where Dean aligns himself next to Cas, unable to let Cas face the consequences alone, was a lovely way to sum up their relationship. He obviously cares so much for Castiel, even if he hasn't quite admitted that fact to himself yet.

Great story!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-22 07:58 am (UTC)
sage: Still of Natasha Romanova from Iron Man 2 (spn: castiel)
From: [personal profile] sage
oh yay! I enjoyed this so much! :)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-22 09:31 pm (UTC)
norwich36: (Default)
From: [personal profile] norwich36
This was really fantastic. I love your God a lot.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-22 09:47 pm (UTC)
smilla: Dean and Sam in a badass pose (Spn: WeWin)
From: [personal profile] smilla
*lol* This is awesome!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-10-26 12:32 pm (UTC)
alinoradesancto: (Default)
From: [personal profile] alinoradesancto
This fic is awesome. Loved your portrayal of all of them - Dean, Castiel, God... and how, at the end of the day, this whole big heavenly battle is brought down to family feud.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-11-03 08:58 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Heh. I can't help thinking your god is a lot like the Oracle in The Matrix :p That's good though! Very good! she was awesome and thus your god is awesome :D And I like the idea of her wanting to forgive Lucy and generally have the angels make up with each other.

I have a very strong suspicion Kripke does not have something so amiable in mind for the show though. Cruel and caprious as he is. This was a fun read as an escape though :)

(and I'm [personal profile] littlehollyleaf btw, in case the anonymous tag makes you nervous :p)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-11-08 04:45 am (UTC)
vikki: (Default)
From: [personal profile] vikki
Wow. How much do I love that God is a little mysterious but not really, and how simple He makes things! That was fantastic. I'm wondering about the sweater thing, now.

Castiel was adorable in this. And Dean was just so - Dean. I mean, really, what are you going to say to God? Especially when He is a lady in her 50's who is knitting. =D

(no subject)

Date: 2009-11-10 12:05 am (UTC)
ext_2283: (concise writer)
From: [identity profile] quickthorne.livejournal.com
Simply amazing. And I love God. (Never thought I'd say that unironically, but there you are.)

DEAN'S SWEETHEART! The one and only.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-11-10 12:08 am (UTC)
ext_2283: (concise writer)
From: [identity profile] quickthorne.livejournal.com
Oh, and I loved how this is Castiel's second rebellion. Makes me wonder what the circumstances were of the first one, though.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-11-10 05:27 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Absolutely made of total awesome!
Oh if God is ever actually shown I soooo hope they cast her as a woman!
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